being a first year university student, sex happens. a lot. more than usual, because it’s really easy to find someone at a club when you don’t have a job to get to in the morning or taxes to pay or mouths to feed.
anywho, i’ve noticed something. it’s just a thought.
back in the middle ages, women were expected to be chaste, because, well, if she wasn’t– you’d find out in about nine months. and with the baby comes shame and stigma from the rest of your renaissance friends. this line of logic, though, never fell to men in that time period.
don’t believe me? explain why brothels existed.
the fact is, men were expected to be experienced and ready for their wedding day, and because they could sleep with people with virtually little consequence, they did.
in the 1950s, before the birth control pill was created, women were dying at higher rates than normal. why? because with no working birth control (condoms were rarely used and weren’t that effective,) every time husbands and wives slept together, pregnancies would occur. meaning that most women would have more than the average of two kids per household (think six or higher,) which, with the healthcare available at the time, was extremely dangerous and often resulted in death. however, outdated problems require outdated solutions. husbands decided to go to strip clubs or have multiple mistresses to satisfy their–ahem–needs.
and yet, when the modern solution to this problem, the birth control pill Enovid hit the markets, men were outraged. they were banking on the fda to ban this pill so that they could keep on keeping on the way they had for centuries.
however, as we all know, girls now are more in control of their reproductive health and the forms of birth control have increased to the point where there are multiple alternatives to keep you pregnancy free.
and yet, what remains? the stigma. i was at a kegger two weeks ago and walked into a room filled with a bunch of dudes talking about how many girls they were going to sleep with on saint patrick’s day. gross, but i didn’t think much of it. and yet, when girls talk about men in the same way, you know exactly what responses that would be greeted with.
this might sound like i am about to take a principled stand or trying to blow up conversations that are heard widespread across university campuses, high schools, and bars. i’m not.
i would just hope, that maybe some point down the line, great inventions like the birth control pill, can not only affect physical change but stigmatic change as well. because even though women are not expected to be as chaste as they used to in the middle ages, or even fifty years ago, the idea that women should somehow be purer or more “lady-like” than their male counterparts is still pretty prevalent.
it’s as if sex was a soccer game, and men are supposed to be strikers and score, while girls are supposed to be the goalies. in reality, as long as you’re happy and healthy, what does it matter if you score, goal tend, or choose to not play the game.
i mean, this all begs the question, who cares who you sleep with and when you sleep with them. maybe that will be my next small thought. anywho, i just hope that whatever you do in life, don’t judge others for doing the same.
until next time, be kind to each other. sleep with who you want. stay safe.
alisoninwonderland 